There are a few reasons I can think of as to why this would be.
1. Severe lag, at which case it takes the server a while to register that you put the lava there, hence why you cannot see lava being put down immediately. If this is the case, wait a bit and the lava should show up.
2. You are putting down lava too close to spawn. Spawn points in smp is such that one cannot alter the terrain thats immediately surrounding the area to prevent griefing (like flooding it with lava for example). If this is the case, stop being a dick you dick. You can change the terrain at the spawn point if you are an op however.
3. Lava buckets are disabled on the server. I doubt this is the case though since lava buckets are enabled on your guy's server.
4. someone casted some freaky voodoo magic on you
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